Ambition Today Episode Transcript
Brian Pasalich - Episode 41
This is Ambition Today. Today we are joined by Brian Pasalich, got it, right he is the founder of the consumer mindset driven platform for Financial Health and well-being. This is. Ambition today. These are the entrepreneurs creators investors and Builders who in viciously changed to the world explore the hardships and heroism of everyday life while we reveal the key moments to leave behind a lasting Legacy.
This is ambition today with Kevin Siskar. What's up world? I am Kevin Siskar a new are listening to ambition today. Make sure you subscribe to the podcast and your favorite app Apple podcast Spotify Google Play breaker anchor really anywhere that you want to listen to podcast. You're also check our website subscribe never miss an episode of ambition today.
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It's Suzy a platform being kind of Siri for Brands. But today I'm excited. We are joined by Brian Pasalich is the founder of Foundational, a consumer mindset driven platform for Financial Health and well-being. Brian Welcome to our mission today. Did I get your last name? Right you got right the first time and then of course you blow it again.
It's like but it's taken four years will get it, right? That's my bad. Uh Buffalo grammar. So we're here in the heart of Long Island City. I know it's a big day for you and unfortunately going to date this episode for all of you listening in the future. Uh, but today Croatia plays England in a semifinal for the World Cup, how are you feeling herbs nervous as hell, uh woke up at 1:30 with images of the match and uh one match of the time everybody's got the deck stacked against us, but you know, what were the small country for million and uh, you know what match the time we've made it to the top four and my goals we can go all the way so nice.
Well, let's jump into the episode that's getting their back speaking of Croatia. Where are you from? So yeah, well, I am Croatian growing up. I've had kind of a unique childhood. I grew up between uh, Chicago area and Croatia as a kid going back and forth until I was 13 and then my Dad decided to play a very cruel joke and retired in Montana, so he's a big-game hunter fisher.
So having this very diverse fun childhood beaches of Croatia to a fairly big city and all of a sudden now ending up in the town of 2,000 people in Corvallis. Montana so while I was a culture shock from hell and I was the uh, the commie they used to call me back then and get a lot of shit for it. It was uh, it was actually a great experience.
You know, it's something that still love going back and seeing family today and really enjoy it but what there till graduated from high school and college University of Montana the moved out to sea nice nice. Well, it's interesting because you know, I grew up in Buffalo by group a little bit on the outskirts.
Um, and you know, it's interesting anytime. I meet someone who's. And lived both Rural Life and City Life, you know you here in New York now, obviously for years what sort of balance do you think that brings to you that other people are just kind of like. Fuck the other side or like, you know, I don't understand the Trump people don't understand the city people the Hillary people like there's just like people just look past each other, but I feel like you have probably a very good common understanding of those to reality.
Absolutely. It's funny. A lot of people look at my Facebook and they wander what the hell because I have a bunch of uh, make America great friends on there that are Trump errs always and then I have the far left that are fuck Trump and you know other things has taught me is with being, you know, growing up between Croatia, Chicago, Montana.
Seattle here, you know that people have different experiences that come from different walks of life. And the biggest thing for me is you know, I've always had this childlike mindset where I always ask why and I'm still haven't grown out of it. I mean, my partner gives me shit about it because I know more about his mother than he.
Uh, but it's I love to learn about people and it really understand where they come from. And I think that's one of the things as you know, that's really set me in a different tone instead of being stuck in the ground with here's my opinion. Fuck you. If you don't like it to where I can actually see the other side and collaboration pragmatism, you know, really Pops in mind and I love it.
I mean I still like some of my friends are like what the fuck you thinking but at the same time. I love him to death, you know, I can separate politics religion beliefs from who they are as an individual. Yeah, everyone everyone's a person. Um, then you went to the University of Montana. You study microbiology.
Yeah interesting. Um, because you ended up in finance. Yeah. Um, so you know why a microbiology at the time when we thinking did you use it? How's it with you? Yeah, it's funny. I actually use it more now than before mainly from the concepts and how you go about the approaching things. But in a long story short, I always want to be a doctor ER physician.
So 16. I wasn't EMT 18. I was a paramedic. I was a youngest Medic in the state of Montana paramedic 111. I was the very first SWAT Medic in the state. They actually sent me to Detroit and then to Bethesda for training. So as we call I say this committed there's crazy and then there's creation and for me and it was something that was overcommitted and I was in the Army Reserves the flight medic as well.
So by the time I graduated. And was off to med school. I was burn out every yard known have been divorced three or four times. I look 10 years old and they were not it was about money, but with student loans and what you make I was like shit has got to be something better. So for me, I literally stumbled into Finance.
I mean it was like wanted to help people want to make a great living and I wanted to control. I make a shitty employee as you know from these years I tend to say what's on my mind and kind of speak pretty blunt. So that was the one thing that it worked out for me where Finance was a natural fit and it was actually really helping.
So yeah. Well, I want to pause on that for a second because you mentioned you were a paramedic. Um, we were just any paramedic run the SRT team which may you were the medic who was trained and armed with the rifle that you doing the dangerous buildings and swats to help someone. Um, and as someone who's a fireman for eight years, you know, I'm curious how this part of your life has impacted.
Help and serve others today. Uh, well, I mean for me, you know, I'm as my I get teased about this for my partner again. I'm I would be a volunteer if I could I mean that would be my passion my love because that's really where I'm at. But you know, one of the things that's taught me is one. Well the SWAT medic stuff really kind of let me push through fears a lot.
It was one thing on a format entertain where the fifth man end. So and back then the goal was not to kill somebody was actually to incapacitate them and that actually treat them so things have changed a little bit there, but. Don't really it gave me kind of a I don't say mental fortitude to be able to.
Appear in approach anything I mean if you're getting shot at you know, now we're sitting in front of a group of individuals or speaking of 400 individuals, like what the hell can happen. I mean, it's the one thing that kind of trial by fire got beat to shift that way. So it was a lot of fun. So it's like basic training.
It was great too. Yeah. Well, you know, it's interesting. Um, it's definitely so was it after this that you had your first start of experience or. Then the future little bit so it looks like shot on that is that I had beside of medicine wasn't the right track kind of stumbled into finance and started my career in that and then had an opportunity to jump into jump into a startup and this was uh, also when I was coming out, so that was another big.
Part of my life and moved out to Seattle was in my first startup and uh early 2000 loved it. I was having a lot of fun. We had 15 employees. We're doing some really great things name of company was speak link May can't find anything about him anymore online. We could have been so long but you know, one of the biggest lessons I learned there was that, uh, you know, our CEO at the time was trying to chase the little last bit of return and wouldn't give up a part of his equity and unfortunately because of it this is when everybody started pulling out and BC started collapsing.
Unfortunately another uh VPN. I were left holding the bag on some of it and writing checks and unfortunately lost a significant six-figure amount and the best thing that ever happened to me. Um, it took me three years to realize that I suffered from cranial rectal inversion syndrome, which is head up a syndrome which males tend to suffer from that a lot more than women, but you're catching up but you know for me it was the best thing because really I was responsible for what I did.
I kept writing the checks. I'm the one that put myself from living in a very nice 5,000 square foot home to a friend's couch when he had. Make rice breakfast lunch rice dinner rice. Uh, I'll give you the recipe later for those that are struggling entrepreneurs and uh, you know, it really taught me a few things one is having to struggle because I have always worked my ass off and you know growing up from a mindset where.
My dad was one of those 10th grade education, but did very well on a couple construction companies and was a hard worker and taught me that anything was possible. And so, you know, I always busted my ass bought my first property at 19 and started my first investment property company, but then from there all of a sudden now ship got a little tough.
Um, you know, I wasn't having money in bills were being, you know piled up and so it take me, you know a little bit, uh, I built myself back and out of that. I learned a very important lesson to said, you know, this is where majority of. Markings, are there struggling with day-to-day expenses and out of that.
I created a financial literacy program where I've taught and spoken to over 10,000 individuals and that's a big piece of my passion and giving back. Um, since then I've also gone on and trained over a thousand advisors and financial services and trying to hopefully impart some of that wisdom and really get them to focus on what makes a difference in this part of my big what I call the big the big hairy ass goal around really making an impact if we can impact 20% of those that are out there struggling with Finance today, imagine difference we can make you know, and so that's.
That was created from that really shitty experience back then which when I say, it's the best thing that ever happened to me it really was it also humbled me I was a was a cocky kid. I you know, I always had to be number one at what I did. I finished top of my class as a paramedic and basic and I was there was an arrogance, you know, which is very common in croatians.
And so, you know, it was really humbling to stand up in front of people and say yay I failed. Yeah, I fucked up that took a little bit, you know, and that's one of the other things that taught me which actually was getting great with failure. Getting good with messing up and looking messy, you know not having to get it right like sitting here.
I'm probably blabbering on and looking like a mess. But at the same time I don't give a shit, you know summer liking someone so what so nice so I think it's pretty amazing story, but also really good segue and the complete understanding of how you would then end up in financial advisor after after some of those choices, right?
So so so microbiologist paramedic. You know startup founder. Um, you enter the world of financing. I think you enter you just set a few stats, right but like, um, tell us a little about that journey and your financial career. I know your partner near spiritual tell us a little about that Journey over the last 15-20 years.
Yeah, so, you know started off and what I realized is finance. I knew nothing of it my degrees in microbiology, right, but I knew that I knew a little basic stuff and what I realized is that as a doctor if someone's miserable and sick patch them up and I send them on the miserable way and. My parents, uh got them both my dad growing up.
It was really rough and Mom and him shouldn't have been married. Right? And unfortunately, my dad controlled my mom for years because of the finance and she was afraid to walk away. But that said she left when I was 14 and we raised my sister and I on our own worked as a school cook for 18 years to take care of us up every morning at 5:00.
And so I learned firsthand how living a good life style then all of a sudden seeing apparent that really was struggling to. Provide for us never once bitch or did I think it really helped finance is basically play into everybody's lives. I mean how many relationships are ruined because of Finance how many parents and children fight how many spouses and partners fight because the financing how many people wake up each day stress about how they're gonna pay bills how its fucks up their life and how they really can't think and dream bigger because they put these self-imposed barriers on themselves self-defeating thinking as well like to call it and I was like, all right.
Well, you know what? Maybe I can help with some of that, you know, and so it literally was something where I can treat. People and send them on their miserable or I can actually get to the heart of what you know, really matters with some people and quite frankly and I challenge people still this day name one goal that you accomplished without money and you know taking money out of this pedestal realm and actually looking at it like building a house biggest thing we've got to have is a blueprint and 90% the populations walking around with no blueprint, you know, they're basically just throwing shit together trying to build their financial house.
And so for me it was you know money is just the nail right? It's a piece that is integral, but it's not the most important piece. It really get them to focus on. What is their. Get rid of the self-defeating thinking and that's why I fell in love with it. I mean, I've created a lot of lifelong friends.
Um, you know, I'd like to say I've saved a lot of marriages and you know did very well in this career and two years later. I got bumped and hit over the head and went into management thinking it was a promotion. So those of you that are thinking about that run, um, it's not always a promotion, you know, now you become responsible for everybody else where when things go, right they get the credit and things go wrong.
It's you which I actually enjoy I mean, I do have that servant mindset so it worked for me, but you know, I've had the opportunity from there to go. Uh building office an agency for John Hancock Financial Network in Seattle where we hit the top 40 in our first year from scratch literally starting the Starbucks and then went off to New York Life in Seattle and also out here and uh Manhattan at our Flagship office and help to investment side and train over
Well over a thousand advisors in my time and I mean, well, I I love it. I mean, it's something that's really great it. Uh does have a burnout moments and I do think our industry needs a little bit of a shift or a change because uh, you know, there's a lot more good that we can be doing if we think about it differently
Yeah. Definitely. I think you know from what I've seen in the finance world. There's definitely room for culture shift. Yeah, especially looking at Tech but I wanted to I like what you said about. Um, it's not about money and the blueprint right because I think that's that's so true for Founder's as well
You know, I can tell you if we have a monthly Meetup group with 7,000 Founders in it. I run this monthly events and I could do an event called how to fundraise and the room will be slammed pack standing room only I can literally do another event that's like how to get free customers right? Maybe have like 40% of the art show up
Right? And so it's like people don't know what they don't know on the pockets before it but like. You don't there's so much work to do up front. You don't necessarily need money available. And you know, you need the blueprint right? And you know, that's one of the things that we helped build with Founders to but um, it's so true not only in finance I think but just in all aspects
Yeah, I mean that's that's why you know what the last four years now, I love teaching division class, right? Because that's where it all starts. You know, so many of us are caught up on we want to be the next Bill Gates want to be the next Zuckerberg want to be you know, what we're looking at it from the buck, right or we hate our boss
You know, when I say fuck you. I want to work my own hours. I want the independence which I have yet to see um, you know, and we get in it for the wrong reasons, right? And then that's you know, that's why getting clear on vision is always been number one for me. I mean and it's something your personal vision
Art's there and then it boils over to the business Vision. But you know, I've seen a lot of Founders that they try and start this business up to they think is going to be the next greatest thing and all of a sudden, you know delve into their personal Vision. They have no clue. So the two are in line, what they're trying to do is not aligned with who they are
They have no clue who they are. And that's why they don't end up anywhere. I mean they kind of sit in neutral so, you know, that's something for me getting clear as far as excuse me. But what the fuck do you want for your personal life? What does it take to be happy, you know not content if you're married or have a partner or spouse
What is it that. Your life looks like and I'm a big-picture thinker right? So what that Vision looks like then from there, you're boiling down to goals, you know goals are really simple to create. Once you have a Clear Vision. Now, you have your personal side done. Now, let's start working on business because you see the business is just a way to get you to your personal, you know, there are a few maybe 1% that their business Vision the lines 100% with their personal Vision
That's the rare group. Right a majority of us, you know, we use our business Vision to really help us achieve our personal Vision. I think that's something that people got to get okay with and they've. Got to realize and I think that that's one thing that I've realized is that if I'm clear on my personal Vision, I know where I'm headed and I can tie the two in my business vision and I'm clear and I can articulate it and show how it ties in
I'm willing to put the effort in you know, I'm willing to its self discipline. We all have it very few of us have mastered it because we don't connect the dots on things, you know, and that's why we're not willing to put the effort in we. X but we're willing to only put in minus 10x, you know, and so how do we change and shift that so I think that's one thing that's really critical
I love that. I'm going to come back to discipline a little bit later in this episode. But right now let's take a quick break. We're here with Brian and we'll be right back with more ambition today. This is ambition today. If you enjoyed this episode of ambition today that leave us a review in whatever store podcast after you are listening
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Is there an audible audiobook that you recognize there is um The Alchemist by Apollo, it's something that I bet you it's probably been 13 to 15 times that I've actually listened to the book. Wow. On the train and unfortunately here I'm a big reader. I like to have physical books as well. So if for some reason I can't get onto the digital side, but when I can't read or it's crowded at first thing I do is I put that on and I've listened to many times and I think it's actually for those of you that haven't read it or listen to it
I do suggest you actually listen to it because Jeremy Irons is a narrator and his voice is just something so amazing about it that it seeps in and it. I could listen to the whole two hours and not lose any interest and still even 13 times later. But uh, you know it really it's a great Parable level
What is yeah, I mean really it's about a boy that's looking for his personal Vision, um, and he sets off in the wrong direction and at the end he really figures it out. And so I think that that book if anything or the audiobook is a great great visual or great sorry not visual, but a great story to really listen to the really help you to determine what is
Personal vision and I think it puts things into perspective and it might give you a new way or a way to shift and think about it differently. So definitely recommend it. All right The Alchemist on Audible that's audible trial ambition today to get your free book. And top top if you're looking for software developers to help you build your next product and visit topped all today for a free two week trial with the top 3% of software developers and designers
You want all the work and all the codes from anyting built over your two-week trial that's top-8 today to get started today and now back this amazing episode of ambition today. Is it ambition today online at Siskar and follow the show on social media at ambition today? Welcome back. We are here with Brian and we are talkin about his journey through startups Finance
We talked a little bit about your career before the break Brian, but I want to talk about your new company foundational. Tell us what it is why you started it? Um, yeah. Oh boy. Well, it's uh foundational and various versions of been in my head for probably six years. Unfortunately technology wasn't there to really keep up with where I wanted to go but you know, and after like we talked about earlier, you know, the years of working with advisors teaching advisors and really how our industry needs to shift is, you know, I realized that I'm not that I want to replace advisors entirely but advice
Yeah the financial advisor. Sorry. Financial advisors financial planners, uh, you know wealth management for me. It's like so many individuals are scared shitless a meeting with somebody and they feel like you know, and rightfully sorry Industries done a really important job of this that they think Ivan
Just trying to take my money. They're trying to make a commission and not really here to help and I will say probably 90% do lead that way. But that's the industry's fall. It's not the advisors fault, you know, unfortunately because that's the way it's set up and incentives that way right. So it's
Sad, but you know my goal was how do I take what I've been teaching and doing for years and you know, you few years ago. I was like, I don't replace me digitally that I can really be there for that individual 100% with no other Alternatives. No judgment. No preconceived notion. It's literally there be there to help them to meet them where they are and to get them to where they want to go to assets questions to help them to remove self-defeating thinking to help them to create their Vision to really help to move them along every step of the way and really be in their corner, right and so
How do I do that and I would still even today the technology we're getting there were like 90% there but we're still not there and you know, so about a year ago, um foundational really came into being um, actually met a fellow cop my co-founder through F5 and snag you up in a heartbeat when I realized that you know, she thinks not just from her head but also from a heart which is this is Bottom Line This is my passion project
Um, this is one of my. And goals of Shifting 20% of those that struggle with Finance in the u.s. So, uh, it's a big goal. I mean will I ever hit it? I don't know but you know, that's the goal where I'm looking to go and that's my legacy that I want to leave. But uh really, you know, we started off in spent probably our first two months getting clear as far as what our messaging was, you know, we we took a little bit more time on that
What are we trying to accomplish because there are so many Robo advisors all these other different platforms that exist out. Yeah. Well front better integrate nothing against them, but he'll so much of what I found in the industry. Is that they assume a higher consumer understanding? So here's what we got
We have Investments we've got insurance, you know, for example just take insurance and we look at Life Church, you know, I've sat down with over 500 people and said, all right. Help me understand. How do I determine how much life insurance I need? I need two percent can't even figure that out and I'm talkin to individuals that are JD's from Ivy League schools
You know that have degrees half the advisors out there. Don't even have a set formula behind that they say Roth aye right, you know, what should I do this or that and so there's so many things away around it and then you know really it starts. I don't even have money to say so why am I even look at this
What are your goals? I don't know or I want to be rich I want there's so big and there's you know, no Clarity around thinks just like how the hell do you even start and that's biggest thing as so many people get ready to get ready. Right? It's just like some entrepreneurs, right? They have a lot of great ideas
And you know, it's one of the things that might want to. Favorite sayings is like the wealthiest place on Earth is the graveyard right? Because how many ideas there that go to the Grave with people same thing here is like I can't meet with an advisor till I'm ready. I've got to get ready to get ready
It's like no, you know first thing is no matter where you're at if you're dead broke living on the streets or you've got 10 million in the bank. First thing I do is get clear on what you want. What's your vision? You know and then start to create Goldsmith then work backwards see everybody. Does it my opinion backasswards
We start managing the money and start there the problem with that is that money is not fun. My name is a tool. You know, if I said. Like balancing a checkbook the years ago when we used to do that that's fucking sucked we hated it. And so we dreaded but that's because that's where it's focused on it's all about the money
But if it's all about the vision and what you want. This is just one step of a 90 steps to get to where you want to go. So it becomes a lot more manageable. It becomes a smaller tasks to accomplish. And so, you know, our goal was really to how do we create that how do we create a system that meets consumers where they are
How do we not assume that? They know everything right? But really understand where they are and if they know something that's okay if they. Don't really educate them and the goal is to educate them but not to sway them one way or the other. Um, I'm also a big failure fan with nudge big plug out there for that book because to me, I think it's an amazing book and it's about nudging people to make the right choices for them not to make the right choices for the company X or company why but creating the right, you know, um, Social architecture and creating the right language and really removing barriers and helping and that's really what foundational set out to do
So, you know, it's scary that in a relatively short period of time because actually we're not even a year yet since we started in, uh, September, but you know, we created an idea first. Got our initial pitch Deck Down got the shit beat out of us on it because I don't get it. I don't get great. Tell me what you don't get um, you know, that's the best thing that ever happens and we've really started to create a good uh advising team
And then from there went off to design first wireframe. Um, it was in that point that actually a friend of mine asked me to apply for techstars the new MetLife and sure Tech program and I'll tell you what it was, uh was like wait, we're not even ready. We're still is an ideation, right? We've got some really low res wire frames and believe
Not out of uh, many applicants. We made it to the finals and we made to the top 20, uh and few a month ago. I was able to pitch in front of the chief Innovations officer for MetLife u.s. MetLife Asia and also, uh feather, you know fellow members with the MetLife and techstars and we made it to uh, I don't know if I can show this I know I'm not supposed to fuck it
I don't care. It's we made it to uh, one of the five alternates and so, you know, which really well we didn't make the top 10, uh, You know, but at the same time it was pretty damn cool to show that you know, what ideas in the right place. We're heading in the right direction and it's you never know and you know quite frankly both my co-founder and I went in there with fuck it
Let's go for it. We're gonna get beat up but it's a great experience and that's something that you know, I think a lot of entrepreneurs struggle with is like, you know, they want to get it right they got to get a perfect. It's like I'm not ready to release my baby yet that proud parents and like to talk about and it's like you never know
I mean shit we had a bunch of balsamic, you know, uh wireframes and we. In there and you know to make it through each step every time we like shit, we made it through that round next round and so on so forth and so, you know, it was pretty impressive in just to know where we're at. It was just great validation and they what even if we blew it it was great experience and it really pushes us to do things that we might not have done
Yeah. Well, it's good. It's good that you got the feedback generating on the feedback right in real time. You're open to it. Um, that's great. Sounds good guys on the right track and I'm really excited to see where this Grows Where devolves to this amazing, um continuing on that thread of putting you in an app essential
Yeah. Um scary. Yeah, you've worked a lot with grounders over the years. I've seen it firsthand during your time in found instituted mentoring. Um, you know, one of the things I admire your teachings are stories is your emphasis that not only mental great but also mental health as a Founder. Um, so you can you tell us a bit about your daily weekly routine
You know, how do you any tips you have for others? How do you think about this how I should other Founders be thinking about you know for me it all starts mental, right? You know, if I'm not taking care of my health personally and what I mean is mental health and mental physical for me as well to uh, it's I can't do anything, you know, and I see so many of us that, you know, suffer these Sleepless
I know I've had many of them as well too, but you know go eat shit just because we're so busy we can't run to do something and we don't work out we start to put on weight all these things and all it does is starts to create again this this self-defeating think and it starts to put shit on top of our brain that starts to Cloud things
And my opinion it pulls us further and further away from our end goal. And so, you know, I've been a little bit of a health nut and not from a point of looking good for my have to you know, um, it put an external image, but for me, it's how I feel, uh, you know, it's something that I've been working out since I was 14 I'm addicted to it
I will say now but you know, my normal daily routine is I'm up every morning usually 536, uh, you know, listening to a little BBC NPR and then I go right into glass of water go downstairs and hit the treadmill. First thing I do is I do my cardio every morning at least five days a week. And then in the afternoon, I hit the gym at least four to five days a week
Um, you know, it's become a very big routine and that's something that you know, so many people they sacrificed themselves for others or they sacrifice themselves for their company things. The thing is the company is going to be there the others will be there, you know your health if you're 50 and all of a sudden you had a heart attack, you've got diabetes and you really can't enjoy it like what good is life and that's thing
My goal is to live to 126. I want to see the year 2100. I'm a huge. If I fan and so to do that, I've got to take care of self, you know, so it's what goes into my body. It's also an interest me. I love my pizzas. I love my Haagen-Dazs. That's my one weakness. Um, but you know, that's why I work out so that I can eat those things but it's imbalance right
You know, it's just one of those things like create the right habits and habits are such a key thing and it starts with simple things. You know, how do you create a half long ago? I learned it's not trying to do, you know so many people and I've worked with a lot of individuals years ago as a trainer as well
And uh, Collagen what I've seen is a lot of people try to do everything at once right? I'm gonna get on a good diet. I'm gonna work out. I'm gonna run I'm gonna you know do this and this and what happens is they start in three weeks later they're dead. So it depends on who you are. There are some people, you know, it's that you give them everything and they're off and running others that they need an accountability system or accountability partner that holds them accountable every step away the Beats them aside ahead each one of us is different
So it's first if you're that person to challenges with Father struggles with following through start with something simple, you know, it's. Like joke but flossing my teeth every night before bed, you know, there's nights of my shit. I'm so tired. I'd last thing but it's become such a habit. Right
It's like brushing to you. It sounds weird but something simple like that. It creates a check mark in your brain. It's like, all right, that's one thing that you can do consistently. So it starts to build a foundation for habits. Then you add another thing on top of it. It's making my bed every morning when I get up
I hate it, but you know what that's another habit, you know little things in what happens if you can stick to it hold yourself accountable. For four weeks, you know a what I've seen is it becomes part of your process becomes a daily life. You know, it's for me the glass of water every morning. I wake up the first thing I do before I brush my is the water then the you know, so I've created these series of habits that weren't all at once it was little by little and it's also get rid of the all-or-nothing
I think many of us live our life that way where if I'm not doing everything I could I give up pizza. Yeah, right exactly, you know, even if you can go and get in the gym once a week, you'll start there, you know, don't say I'm gonna go six days a week if you know you. Do that, but the other thing is you've got to schedule time
I've been you know for years. I've always a cart on my advisors about this. The first thing is scheduling time with yourself right a scheduling time with your spouse and partner. Do you keep a calendar? How do you go about I do you know, I mean, you know for years I keep in my calendar like my gym time in the morning my gym time in the afternoon and I will tell you I don't care who the person is if they have an appointment with me and they try to schedule her my did Jim time
It's not going to work. I've made that for me My Religion right? And so I let. Move around it. But I also put my calendar out there for those that schedule appointments. So they just see it's just my time is blocked off. You know, that's one thing is if it's that important to you block it off don't compromise because see if you compromise on yourself and your health where else are you compromising on you know, and that's gonna carry over your whatever you do in your personal life does carry over to your business
People see that and what I found is, you know what people that don't respect to excuse my language, but fucking they don't get it, you know, and I there are enough people to do respective that can work with but start Simple Start small right now my goals I always start with that. I am a you know, I used to set yearly goals 5 year goals, um 12-week year
It's as concept it's been around and a lot of coaching Concepts around 90 days is taking your goals break them down in 90 days and instead of trying to do 12 things. What are the three to four things that you can do in the next 90? It'll get you there and then hold yourself accountable. I'm someone that I have moments where I've got it
I'm off and running sometimes when I need someone to beat me upside the head you've got to figure out how you want to be held accountable if there's a person that's going to hold you accountable and find that person and ask them, you know and give them permission to hold you accountable and beat the shit out of you if you need it, preferably, of course, but you know, that's those are the things you got to build it
And if you can do that, you know, it's actually pretty easy. It's funny. It's like we make it a lot harder than it is but start Simple Start small but start and don't wait New Year's resolutions driving me fucking nuts. Because everybody waits the first year to get healthy if it's something you're thinking about if those of you that are listening to the podcast today something you've been putting off that you want to do start today
Yeah, you know and that's really it's and I think you know few things that right. So like the simplest way to go about this is I've seen people start with this literally set a reminder do something the morning or set next to bed. Wake up before you do anything else take a drink of water and just do that for do that for them
So simple, but also really hard I've tried it. It's challenging the first three days like yeah, I got this that day for comes and you're like, oh I didn't refill the glass last night kitchens over there. I guess I could just like. Do other stuff first and it's yeah, so it's all about the channels processes
And then another another resource that actually just got from uh, Vicente Brad founder of Grafton Sabers. There's this book. Um, it's like a moleskin it's called best. Um, and it does exactly that it's got a 13 week section set your goals then a daily section that lets you break down what you're grateful in the morning what your big wins are for the day Turkey Milestones
There's a little schedule thing if it's actually really really good. It's better than I thought it would be I'm trying to right now. Um, so the best self is great. Um, yeah and you know addition to that it's like guess what you're gonna fuck it up. Um, you're gonna break like just you say with the water right
You're going to hit day three day four, you don't. The thing is we've got to acknowledge our breakdown but then we've got to recommit and just start back on that process instead of saying all right, fuck it up and feel guilty about it's like look, you're human. You're gonna get messy we make mistakes
I mean as I joke, I probably made ten mistakes in this 10:00 a.m. Right and so for me, that's one of the key things that I think we need to be okay with messing up but in that Barak down learn, right and I think that's why I love fucking up nowadays is because in each mess up. I learned something about myself
I love where I do. You know, that's it be inquisitive. Be that child like mindset every time you know when you didn't get up, why did was it because I was lazy last night because I stayed out late or was it because I just forgot about all right. Is it now then when that happens, is it important to you
That's another question that we don't ask ourselves enough because we set off on these goals or things that we think we want but they really don't line with what we're looking about. They don't align with our values of what's really important to us at the moment. So. Ask yourself that question is you know, sometimes it's an obvious break down sometimes like it's not really connected to what I want
That's okay, then don't waste your time with it because that's also going to create bad habits, right? If you set up a bunch of things that you don't want you go after them and you fail that's just each time you fail and you don't learn or go off the right direction, you just build up this failure side as well to instead of a habit side
Yeah, so I want to switch here switch gears a little bit. I know you talked a little bit earlier about. Um when you got the start thing that was also when you were coming up, I know you do a lot of work to advance progress for the LGBT community both the sitting on the board for marriage equality USA and the national LGBT Chamber of Commerce for New York what you know telephone about that Journey how that's related entrepreneurship and maybe one or two things you would like to see change for the better in 2018
Oh boy. Well 2018 change I would just like to have uh one week on Facebook with no political posts CNN not mentioned anything about politics for one weekend. Happy with that. I think that we greater Trump not tweet for a week. But anyway, you know as far as volunteerism is key for me. I think that's that's one thing that we don't do enough of we're so caught up in inward
You know, I like to joke. I call it a success and significance, right? You know, I look at Bill Gates and I think of him as significance and not because of what he's done in Microsoft I could care less about that, but Bill and Melinda. Foundation what they do for HIV in Africa what they do for education and right or wrong people have different schools of thought around but they're focused on Legacy and giving an outward right successful people and Trump by all means very successful person
Have you heard him? Say we in the last year? It's all me me. And I think that's something that not the Bastion. I know, you know, I don't want to go on with the other. I'm independent but that said is is really you've got to focus on giving back, you know, and it's one that we get. Scarcity mindset our victim mindset where it's like, how can I give back because I'm still trying to survive on myself, you know
No, it's just the more you I'm also big Karma believer the more you give the more you get, you know in karma is real. I've seen it firsthand, um, you know, and it's about doing good for others and the more that you can impact your community, you know, the more that you're changing the world and because at the end of the day, what's all the material ship that you have trust me, I've had it lost it and got it and it doesn't matter
You know, I mean, I used to spend $300 for dress shirts. And now you know, I spend 20 bucks on a shirt. It's too much. No, I did spend on the Croatia Jersey, but that's you know, and it's my only Nike thing I own but uh, you know, that's it. I go to UNI: buy T-shirts and Kevin see me almost every day
I'm class has been in a you know, $5 t-shirt because those things don't matter right experiences matter Community matters giving back because that's really what the end of the day. That's all we've got, you know, and it's for me. It's all about experience and giving back and the more that I can leave a mark making
It's not about maybe there's a little something in here where I want to be remembered by doing. Well, you know, and so I think it's important to give back to community and it's amazing the people that you connect with and I think it'll also help align for for Founders is that if you focus on that what will happen is that permeates itself into your business world and you're you know, there's a lot of startups out there that are just focused on a bug that actually aren't doing good, you know by doing, you know doing well it's so it's like that starts to carry over and imagine if majority of you know, we start
In this curve now where majority of entrepreneurs and startups their focus on making life better making things better for the world for the community for things, you know, even if it's your community is only a thousand people but you're making the world better there the impact that it makes and that's all it takes
It's just that each one of us shifts one. It's just enormous. So I like you said significance, uh versus success. That's great. But you're we're gonna jump down to the question of the day and you are basically writing these segues for me. Um, if you have a question for admission today submitted on our website subscribe, we were just talkin about Community volunteerism today's ambition day question the day is why does Family Matter and how do you balance your personal life with your work life
Oh boy. Hey, that's a tough question. Right Family Matters. You know and I look at family two ways, right, you know and a lot of us think of it from a biological perspective and I don't um, I have a great family. I love my sister some days and my I've got four beautiful nephews. I love my mom and dad and uh, I've got a great cousins relatives, but you know at the end of the family is a community from me, you know, and that's how I look at those that I have share interests with those that I have close connection with those that I am able to build and actually build that Community with and that's something to me because
The end of the day if I'm alone in a box and I've got all these great materialistic things. It doesn't matter. I mean, I'm sure we've seen enough deaths of of movie star Superstars all these great wealthy people that were lonely that you know, where it's at the end of those things don't matter what matters is family
It's those that you have a relationship with and like I said family doesn't mean biological, you know, family means those that you're connected with that have your back to love you no matter what that are unconditional and you know that you can really do great things with that you can share and experience as with I think that's
To this really critical for me because why do I do what I do? I mean I don't wake up each morning and do what I do because of me, you know, it's for others. It's to retire my mom like I did at age 62, you know, and now take care of herself she has to do is go to yoga and uh do a swimming and Zumba she loves him, but for the rest of her life, she's taking care of and that's that's what's important to me
Right? You know, not the Maserati or this or that that's what's really matter. What matters? Yeah. I love it. I love it. That's amazing. Um, all right. Well Brian, we're at the end of the road. So for those of you listening make sure you join the Ambitions of a tailless join the back-channel here what we are about to talk about the single greatest piece of advice
Brian has ever received you can join at Siskar as always the show notes which include everything in this episode links to what we talked about books Etc up on Siskar. Um, Brian, thank you for being here. Uh, thank you people go to find out more about you or anything else. That should be checking out blog
Hello everyone. I know I wish I would be better at blogging or Twitter and I'm thinking about it. But you know right now start with my LinkedIn and feel free to reach out to me directly. You know, that's something that I'm more than happy to, you know, sit down with anyone as you know, I mean it uh, you know, but don't be afraid and that's all right, uh, stay curious everyone and we will see you on the next episode of ambition today
Thanks for listening to ambition today. Be sure to visit Siskar to get all the information from this episode and more great content until next time stay curious everyone.